The Marks family years ago were a household name. No matter whether you loved them or not, you will have heard of them. In the East End of London maybe you even admire one particular member of the Marks family over another. Over the last few years it has not been easy for the Marks Family having to watch their father, Bernard, known as Bernie, who developed and eventually died of Alzheimer’s. Alzheimer’s is an illness that my Grandmother had and speaking from experience it is one of the most dreadful, cruel illnesses that I wouldn’t even wish on my own worst enemy. This illness takes you under until all you can remember are times gone by. You forget everything apart from the memories from the past which are hopefully good because if not then you will be living a nightmare. I have worked with people who had Alzheimer’s and it is awful to watch how this illness takes them over and they lose the ability to control their bladder and bowel. They speak words that don’t make sense and seem to resort back to childhood. They forget their family and all those that are close to them. They may remember family at times, but they might forget that their Son’ have actually grown up and with dad he still see us as a little children. They get easily confused and sometimes go wandering off. It is an awful waste of a life and one of the cruellest illnesses that I know. The only peace they get is when the end comes and the inevitable happens, they die. Usually it is a relief for the family as well although obviously there is bereavement. Alzheimer’s is cruel for everyone involved with the care of the individual. My mother Rhona looked after Dad by paying the charges of everything he needed. After everything that Dad put us through when we were younger we still had the love and care to look after him in his last years of life. When mum couldn’t cope anymore we visited dad, in the home and told him we loved him and offered to paid for top quality care. During these tough emotional times we as the family kept loyal and faithful to mum as she tried to cope Sometimes I wonder how mum managed to fit it all in, but that’s rhona she carries on even when everything else in her life is getting her down. Mum said It's a hurtful feeling to have to reverse the roles if you ask me. You think that they should still do the right thing and its hard to grasp the reality that we have to take control of certain situations. sometime mum said it like your father is taking on the role of an angry young teenager. and many time mum had to call the police on him snap him to any reality? I am trying to look at the situation in that its the condition we find them in. The passive aggressiveness mum said used to drive me crazy. dad was never violent to her but used to shout mum said that the worst thing to do with an alzheimer is to argue with them mum said she was able to make some points with dad which is what I meant about putting dad in his place. dad would calmed down for a while and there have been no episodes similarly recently. It unnerved me and I don't think I could take many like that. dad used to falls in and out of depression when he doesn't want to get out of bed. he acts like a child when he refuses to eat what I cook or bring home. I have to point that out to him much of the time to get him to eat. Its like he purposely does that just to be bratty or act spoiled. mum said he also immediately couldn't understand instructions enough to put the kettle on Mum found the most distressing thing was the lack of support from our mental health trust when my husband was diagnosed at 72. I certainly didn't realise that support and help are down to your postcode. I felt that we'd got to go away and get on with it, there's no treatment so what did we expect? Thank goodness for the Alzheimer's Society. Mum would always say It is important to note that Alzheiers/ dementia is a physical illness not a mental illness. It occurs when a part of the brain is damaged. There are several different types of dementia that progress at different levels/ speeds. Dementia mainly affects older adults from the age of 60 but cannot also affect other age groups including children. Different types of dementia affects different types of the brain i.e the frontal lobe, the frontal temporal lobe,etc. Different types of dementia has different causes i.e. a blood clot in the brain, a detoriation of a part or the whole of the brain, damaged caused when lewey bodied cells are present, a brain injury etc. There is also such thing as drug/ alchol induced dementia and dementia caused by cdj. Dementia does not only affect memory. It can affect a persons personality, behaviour, communication skills as well as a persons physical health. A person may also loose the ability to swallow, their body may become ridgit and they may suffer from shaking simpilar to parkinson disease. Dementia can affects peoples ability to walk as well. Short term memory is affected before long term memory as people loose the ability to store new information. It is important that people are kept stimulated through activities such as word games, quizes, art and crafts, music, cooking, physical exercise etc. They are then encouraged to use their skills. Sometime verbal and physical prompts are required when carrying out activities. Carrying out activities can also be difficuly the person has poor eyesight or hearing difficulties. Tricks like puting coloured paper under white paper when doing an art project can be used. Speaking clearly and breaking activities down into small tasks are very important. People will not beneifit from activities inless they are interested in them. At home memory prompts can be used but these dont always work. Sensor can also be used to contact family members or the person if there is a problem such as they have left the water running, gas on or fallen from the beds. Voice activated prompts can also be used to remaind a person to take their key with them or not to leave the house at night. I hope this is helpful. . Following dad over dose in hospital he was sent back home - probably to die in familiar surroundings. he's still with us, though. he can't walk, can't feed himself, and he is incontinenet. However, he is mostly happy and clearly has a strong will to live. If dad was feeling chatty you can tell that he understands everything that mum was telling him but that he cannot find the right words to reply. he would talk in a very Lewis Carroll language which has perfectly normal inflections and emphases. Some of the words have great charm - I sometimes write them down. On other days I'll talk to him about friends I've seen and he'll tell me that he's just seen them too - sometimes at a party! And in his head he has. We think that in his mind he leads a very active social life and that's what keeps him going. In the The hardest thing of all was that Dad never really got to know my partner bill even tho bill took hiom to the toilet etc but when we would visit Dad just kept asking him if he wanted a cup of tea. We are also intigued by the fact that, very occasionally he becomes him old self. You know immediately by his tone of voice when this is going to happen. It's as though a curtain is temporarily lifted and old conversations can resume. On these days, we can get out photo albums and really chat about them - people and friends especially. I feel that those days are an unexpected privilege – The thing that we experienced that all families experience with Alzheimer's is that, as terrible as it is that you lose someone to this disease -- it's a terminal illness that ultimately kills a person -- it has such a devastating effect on the family, on the spouse or partner or whatever, because you're on 24-hour duty. You're dealing with a person who is not only dying, but also losing their ability to take care of themselves or know where they are, have good judgment. So, your responsibility is either you have to be there all the time with them, or you have to spend your money to hire someone to be there all the time with them. And it is so debilitating. And the statistics of illness and even mortality for care-givers are huge with this disease. So, it really cuts a wide swath. A lot of collateral damage, we say." can anyone account for this? bernard marks was born in london on September 12, 1933. He is much loved and will always be remembered by all his friends and family. Caring for someone at home with dementia can be a difficult and upsetting time. As their condition deteriorates, you are likely to notice changes in how they behave and symptoms may be hard to cope with. You may experience emotions such as: • a sense of loss and loneliness • anger or frustration • guilt As well as family and friends, emotional and practical support is available from: • occupational therapists • voluntary organisations • social services • other carers and support groups Some hospitals and residential homes offer short-term care for people with dementia to give their carers a break. In time, you may need to find a care home for the person with dementia if you are no longer able to look after them and provide dementia care at home. Mum explained the illness as Your brain is made up of billions of nerve cells (neurons) and these form complicated networks. Usually signals from your body or from outside pass between nerve cells across small gaps (synapses). Messages travel around your brain in this way and produce a response to the original signal. This process is helped by chemicals called neurotransmitters. If you have dementia, the nerve cells in your brain aren't working properly and your brain can't correctly process the signals going to it. You may have problems communicating, remembering things and carrying out daily activities. Usually, it won't be possible to cure your dementia, but some medicines can slow down its progress. Mum research while dad was ill was based on what medication can help dad There are now three medicines that your doctor may prescribe if you are diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. They are donepezil (Aricept), galantamine (Reminyl) and rivastigmine (Exelon). They reduce the rate at which acetylcholine is destroyed so there is more of it available to transmit messages around your brain. As with all medicines, you may have side-effects, including nausea and tiredness. It's worth carrying on taking the medicine as the side-effects usually fade after a few weeks. The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) provides guidance on effective treatment. NICE has recommended that these medicines should only be offered if you have moderate Alzheimer's disease. If you have early Alzheimer's disease, you won't be eligible to receive the medication. The medicine memantine (Ebixa) works differently. It's used for severe dementia. Mental Health Foundation 020 7803 1101 www.mentalhealth.org.uk Alzheimer's Society 020 7306 0606 www.alzheimers.org.uk Carers UK 0808 808 7777 www.carersonline.org.uk